The Golden Udder
by Terry Denton
published by Allen and Unwin

No! You've picked up a copy of Terry Denton's new book, The Golden Udder. Big mistake! Now you are going to learn lots of things that you will never ever forget. Did you know? 1) Udders are creatures from another dimension that float down to Earth and attach themselves to cows. 2) Udders are really dangerous. 3) Udders cast off their skins every year — that's where rubber gloves come from. 4) Man first landed on the moon in a very big metal udder. 5) Your legs are on fire. 6) On its maiden voyage, the Titanic sank after it hit a huge frozen udder. 7) There is a modulator from an illudium P76 Terrain Vehicle next to the ice cream in your fridge (go and check). 8) A Santa Gertrudin is a brand new choccie bar treat made out of recycled dog vomit. 9) Your legs really are on fire (have a look). 10) Well, if your legs are not on fire, where's the smoke coming from? 11) AAAARRRGGGHHH!!! My legs are on fire!!! Why didn't you tell me. You psycho!!!